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Posts made in September, 2015

Fostering Self Acceptance

By on Sep 8, 2015 in Therapy & Change | 0 comments

The issue of self- acceptance is a complex one and there are a number of components to consider. First though, the negative affect of non-acceptance of one’s self can be dangerous to one’s health and wellbeing. Non-acceptance of self leads one to be highly self-critical, denying of their emotional needs, inability to learn from past mistakes, inability to set realistic goals, isolating and unable to form positive relationships, and being unaware and/or unappreciative of their strengths and positive qualities. It keeps a person in a negative space, could lead to depression and social anxiety and colours everything we do. Non-acceptance is addiction’s tool that serves to numb the feelings associated with negative feelings about self and behavior. Self-acceptance is about accepting the self unconditionally, negative parts, and all. Now that is a large order and generally self-acceptance is a “work in progress”. It is challenging to be fully self-accepting and maybe in order to continue to grow as person, a person needs to accept the challenging parts but see them as things they are willing and able to change. Jung called the dark part of self, the shadow side. Knowing and accepting the shadow side is the work of personal growth. The advertising industry bombards everyone with messages about “not being good enough”, not being handsome or pretty enough, not being thin enough or having teeth that are not white enough. Western individualistic values suggest that people should be self-sufficient, financially secure, coupled with a spouse, a fabulous career, and two children with a lovely home in the suburbs. If people do not see themselves as having this level of success then they feel they are “not good enough” and a failure in terms of society’s values. Models of beauty, wealth, and success that the media and other institutions portray are ways that society invites consumer behavior and a striving for success and serves as a method of social control. The dark side is that many people feel they do not measure up. Society as a whole tends to be self-depreciating and guilt producing (see blog on Guilt) “Not being good enough” is synonymous with non self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is grounded in the feelings of belonging, worthiness, and competence. These...

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